Oh, how you yearned for their unrestrained chuckles -- their sparkling smiles -- to be transformed into naught but a cacophony of wailing and ceaseless misery. What gave them the right? Was it their fancy PCs, Macs and Xbox 360s? Did they so enjoy coasting down The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness on their technological toboggans that they couldn't even cast a single glance towards you, sitting atop a lonely and immobile PlayStation 3? Well, when the snow falls again this Winter, revenge will be yours.

Also, Trophies! Posting on the official PlayStation Blog (they let anybody on there these days), Hothead producer Joel DeYoung confirmed that the first episode of Penny Arcade Adventures would arrive on PSN before the end of the year, complete with Trophy support and 1080p resolution. "Looking back, I think it's a shame that we weren't able to release the PS3 version closer to the initial launch of the game," he said.

With the game's engine now up and running on the hardware, DeYoung expects that future episodes will arrive on Sony's platform in a more timely fashion. No more being left out in the cold, our monolithic friend.

American McGee's Grimm continues on GameTap this week with The Girl Without Hands -- yup, it's getting darker. Same as every week, the episode is free to non-subscribers for the first 24 hours after release. The service also gets into the drug trade by adding the addictive Puzzle Quest.

• Grimm: The Girl Without Hands (Windows) - Katamari Grimm-acy do your thing!
  
• Puzzle Quest: Challenge of Warlords (Windows) - It's time to finally play this game if you've somehow missed out on it.
  

There aren't any additions to GameTap's gratis games lineup this week, but the full list of free-to-play titles can be found after the break.

When a company has one of the most successful MMORPGs games of all time, the last thing anyone there wants to do is throw a wrench into what the customers' rigs can handle. To that end, the Blizzard team explained in a few interviews last week that World of Warcraft's graphical updates will happen over time with expansions. Don't go expecting something like World of Warcraft 2 or a major graphics overhaul, which might hurt the customer base.

In an interview with VideoGamer.com, Blizzard's Rob Chilton explains that "usability" has always been more important to the company than technical prowess. Obviously, Blizzard's judgment on how to run Azeroth, compared to those who yearn for a full-blown graphics overhaul, has paid off in million billions for the developer.

Source -- Brack clarifies graphical update plans (WoW Insider)
Source -- WoW graphical reboot may never be necessary (VG)

When we spoke with SCEA president Jack Tretton during E3 about Final Fantasy XIII going multiplatform in the US, he was quite frank about the impact the game's PS3 exclusivity in Japan would (or wouldn't) have for the company. "Seeing as there isn't that big of a [PS3] installed base in Japan, I don't know how big of a coup that is for us," he admitted.

Across the Atlantic, Sony Europe boss David Reeves seemingly gets his Japanese PS3 sales figures broken down by individual components. Speaking with VG247 during last week's Leipzig Games Convention, Reeves said, "I think that just as we got a massive blip up with GTA IV – which was not exclusive – we'll get exactly the same blip up with Final Fantasy," adding that, "I know [FFXIII] will look great on PS3 and – it's up to Microsoft to clarify this – it's still exclusive in Japan."

While we're still betting on higher sales of the PS3 version over the 360 release domestically, it really seems as if Reeves is living in the mid- to late-1990s, when Japan was still SCEI's most important territory. Times have changed, Sir.

[Update: Corrected a Sony exec mix-up. They're all the same to us, you know.]

We've heard of 18-hour bras, but 18-hour boss battles? Ridiculous! A couple weeks back, we reported on a Final Fantasy XII guild that attempted to take down one of the game's new big bads, the Pandemonium Warden, only to succumb to fatigue, hunger, sleep deprivation, and general near-deathness at the 18-hour mark. Square Enix now says it has heard the fan outcry against the idea of such longevity-rich enemies and is fixing things.

"In response to these events, we have determined that further alterations are required to prevent such battles from exceeding a certain predetermined length of time," reads the latest community update from PlayOnline. What will these "alterations" consist of? "Included in the version update scheduled for early September will be modifications to the degree of difficulty of Pandemonium Warden (and associated pets), Absolute Virtue (and associated pets), and Jailer of Love. The aim of these changes is to create battles where a decisive outcome may be reached within a shorter period of time."

Square's statement also reaffirmed the company's continued "commitment to a healthy and wholesome game environment." You know, one where players aren't passing out while playing.

[Via Massively]

How nice of you to join us. Do you have any idea what time it is? We were expecting you weeks ago! Well, no matter, go and take your seat with the rest of the Virtual Console class so we can begin.

• Samurai Shodown 2 (Neo Geo, 1-2 players, 900 Wii Points): SNK's 1994 follow up to Samurai Shodown finally slices and dices its way onto the Virtual Console this week, bringing back most of the original's weapon-wielding cast, as well as several newcomers vying for the opportunity to skewer anything that moves with a pointy blade and sharp Engrish wit.
• Ys Book I & II (TurboGrafx 16 CD-ROM, 1 player, 800 Wii Points): Nihon Falcom's enhanced remakes of the first two titles in the Ys saga finally levels up for the US Virtual Console. Offering roguelike-style combat and music we still find ourselves humming at the dinner table, this is a download not to be missed by role-playing fans with eyes for the classics.
  

This has to be one of the most incredibly overproduced game trailers in existence. It's like SEGA and BioWare hired the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack producer and forced him to write a full-blown soundtrack for Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood. Sonic has never had so much fanfare, especially on such a small system.

Zack nailed this in his hands-on impression, and the gameplay backs it up, but it looks like you could have dropped any ol' characters into this real-time RPG. When we hear the name Sonic, we tend to think hyper-speed running and gold rings flying all over the place. Call us old fashioned.

Still, this trailer is sure to wake you if you're in that end-of-the-week coma.

Terrible news for immobile couch potatoes: According to a Square Enix representative, Infinite Undiscovery will ship on two discs when it releases exclusively on the Xbox 360 in September. The real-time role-playing title from tri-Ace marks the first game to be published by Square Enix on an Xbox platform since 2006's space shooter, Project Sylpheed.

Shipping on September 2 in North America, September 5 in Europe and September 11 in Japan, Infinite Undiscovery promises an epic 20-25 hour adventure for the Xbox 360. And that's just while you're busy changing discs.

Sega has a mighty lineup on public display (and behind closed doors) at Leipzig Games Convention 2008, comprised of titles from the East and West. MadWorld and Bayonetta, its collaborations with former Clover Studios staff, are there, as are Sonic games, strategy titles, DS wares, and more. But there's nary a sign of PSP support to be found. And it was doing so well with games like Crush. Ah well. You can check out screenshot galleries of everything Sega has on show after the break.

"Prepare for the future" indeed! And by "future" we specifically mean October 28th (or October 31st for our European pals) because that's when Bethesda's "Best of E3"-award winning Fallout 3 – including the Collector's and Survival editions – falls into retailer's laps.

Vlatko Andonov, Bethesda Softworks prez, teases, "To meet the huge demand for this title by our fans worldwide, we are planning one of the biggest launches of any game released this year." We're not sure what Bethesda's got in store, but when discussing a game set in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland, we're excited to see how big of a splash it can make. Bunkers, everyone!

IGN reports that the latest issue of Famitsu PS3 is chock-a-block with details on the forthcoming Final Fantasy XIII demo, due to be packaged with the Blu-ray Disc release of Final Fantasy: Advent Children Complete. The info comes straight from the game's director, Motomu Toriyama, who divulges more than its expected length – which, as we previously reported, could break the two-hour mark. (Presumably just to prove that more than an hour of the game is actually finished.)

According to Toriyama, the demo will be "Like the FFVII demo that was included with PlayStation's Tobal Nol.1," allowing players to experience the game's opening sequence and prologue.

He also says that the primary goal of the demo is to get players acquainted with the new party system, which will allow them to experience the game's story from multiple characters' perspectives. Players will control more than one character in the demo – Toriyama points out to Famitsu that, in fact, there's no one "central" character in FFXIII – and, in "classic" FF form, will be controlling them directly, one after another, in purely turn-based combat.

When Jeff Gerstmann bemoaned Too Human's "monotonous combat and dated approach to cooperative play," he was unknowingly shunted from the group of haves to the considerably less illustrious group of have nots -- as in have not a clue to comprehend Too Human's unyielding explosion of uniqueness and innovation. "I think we took for granted how innovative the game was," remarks the game's humble director, Denis Dyack.

Speaking to OXM at the game's UK launch, Dyack explains that a lot of the negative reaction to the game's demo (and presumably, the final version) has its roots in the provocative fear of the unknown. "But what we're also seeing is for the people who don't like it, generally just don't get it. And it's because we've created something so innovative and different," he says. "It's ironic, it just shows that human nature of if you don't understand something, you immediately attack it. It's pretty interesting in that regard."

Consider this a plea to game designers everywhere: Please tone down all that rampant innovation, lest we become embroiled in confusion and hostility and ultimately give your game a six out of ten.

It's been almost ten years since we first saw Too Human at E3 1999, at that point reportedly a 4-disc action adventure for the original PlayStation. In that time, the game has jumped to GameCube and then to Xbox 360, re-emerged as a slideshow, became overshadowed by a lawsuit, and later became the most downloaded action demo on Xbox Live in its first week.

So, after all the hype and controversy, how does the final game fare? Judging by the reviews, it's certainly not a knockout title, with the general consensus being that it aims for the stars and misses the mark. One thing is for sure: If you like seeking out loot, then Too Human is definitely for you.

• GamePro (4/5) "Here's an Xbox 360 exclusive that proudly wears its lofty ambitions on its sleeves, and yet sometimes seems bent on self-sabotage. That it's so relentlessly addictive despite its aggravations is something of a minor miracle."
• IGN (78/100) "What's been delivered in the end is a good game that ultimately falls just short of its promise due to a few questionable design decisions. One thing is for sure, though. If you love collecting random loot drops, you'll find a lot to like here."
• Giant Bomb (3/5) "If you have an insatiable lust for items with higher stats than the ones you're currently using, or if you get giddy at the mere thought of Diablo-style rare item naming conventions, you'll probably be able to look past the game's issues and have a good time. But even at its best, it's hard to ignore Too Human's monotonous combat and dated approach to cooperative play."
  
• GameSpot (55/100): "Too Human is a game of false starts and unrealized potential that infiltrate almost every aspect of the game, from story, to combat, to balance. Its elements feel stitched together, making for a patchwork quilt of a game that's fraying at the seams."
• 1UP (C-) "At the very least, the cyber-Norse concept of Too Human is a good one that's worth exploring further, just not in this context. The game is simply schizophrenic; it attempts to be all things to all people and never succeeds in executing any of them well. The end result is in dire need of polish and focus, and that doesn't solely apply to gameplay mechanics. There's absolutely no reason why a game released in 2008 should have a bug where characters can fall through solid ground and into some pseudoabyss."
  

Blizzard announced today that World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King's opening cinematic will premiere at the Leipzig Games Convention. The clip will be shown this Thursday, August 21, at 1PM German standard time (7AM Joystiq time).

We'd speculate about what Blizzard has in store for a big reveal at Blizzcon, but with Diablo 3, Starcraft 2 and WoW in play, who knows what the company could announce. We'll see what happens on October 11.

[Via WoW Insider]

Thanksgiving this year will include both turkey and time travel, a magical cocktail made possible by Square Enix. The company said that it'll ship its DS throwback to SNES favorite Chrono Trigger in North America on November 25, just two days before families sit down for the annual feast.

Giving players plenty to keep them busy while fighting off the adverse effects of tryptophan, Chrono Trigger's DS debut promises new dungeons, touchable controls and an arena mode. Additionally, as the RPG keeps with the original's pixelated sense of style, Square Enix has all but ensured that Thanksgiving 2008 will play out much the same way as it did some thirteen years prior, as we ignore seldom seen family members in favor of the more interesting trio of Crono, Lucca and Frog.